Fall Of The Glam Rock Gods

I never trusted Def Leppard. The songs from the Pyromania album captured a band with no agenda and they rocked. When Hysteria was released four years later, there was a little too much polish to the “Pour Some Sugar On Me” video. Producer Robert “Mutt” Lange had tweaked the formula and it had a New Coke aftertaste. Everything sounded overly calculated and designed to penetrate new demographics. Despite all that, I was not prepared to stumble across the blokes from Sheffield, UK performing with Tim McGraw.

Time has not been good to my glam rock gods. First, I had to take VH-1 off my favorites list out of fear that I might come across Bret Michaels sifting through the used stripper bin on Rock Of Love. Perhaps as a result, I channel surfed my way to CMT one night and witnessed Bon Jovi sharing a stage with Sugarland. A little fearful research unearthed their new album included duets with Big & Rich and Lee Ann Rimes. Lee Ann Rimes? She’s the little runaway?

True, Whitesnake’s Slip Of the Tongue rarely pushes aside Arcade Fire on my i-Pod these days. However, there are days when nothing sounds better than a quick drive down the Sunset Strip of my memory. Glam rock served as a musical bridge between my early teen Duran Duran phase and the hipster cool Cowboy Junkies college phase. Besides, you just don’t see beautiful women humping cars these days. Well, unless you’re Stephon Marbury.

That brings us back to Def Leppard. Lange pushed Def Leppard’s sound closer and closer to the pop mainstream and then moved to Nashville and did the same with Shania Twain. Listen to Twain’s “That Don’t Impress Me Much” and throw some distortion over the whole affair. It rocks like a lost b-side from Leppard’s Adrenalize. This homogenization of glam rock with country should be a lamentable affair. After all, this process eventually gave birth to the stupefying Big & Rich who managed to add hip hop to the equation and cover all possible music buying demographics. Note, I write that it "should" be a lamentable affair. Is it? I'm afraid I might like some Shania Twain songs more than most of what Warrant recorded at the peak of glam.

All hope is not lost. My favorite rock album this decade is Chinese Democracy by Axl Rose and whatever fast food packaging wearing freaks he calls Guns-n-Roses. I have not heard any songs from the album. I’m not even sure the album will be released this decade. However, I am quite sure that Kenny Chesney will not be appearing on it when it surfaces. For this wistful glam rock fan, that’s about as close as it gets to good news.